I Surrender

I feel so overwhelmed as I sit here to type my first blog in quite a while. I have been on a much-needed vacation with my sweet husband. We traveled many hours to get to a quiet home away from home in Taos, NM. I have so much to say. A few firsts for me that I will have to share later. The trip was so much fun. But I would have to say my favorite part is realizing that yet again, God spoke to me on my trip. Do you remember reading my blog post about my girls trip last year? About how God was telling me to trust Him 100%. Not 95% but 100%. I guess I need to take a trip more often because God has shown up for the last 2 trips and has shown me BLUNTLY what I need to do.

Probably a year or so ago, Wes's mom gave us copies of cd's of a missionary, Otto Coning, speaking about his many many testimonies. I wish I had a link for ya but I couldn't find one on the internet. Anyways, I decided to take these cd's along on our trip because I knew that there would be some time where we wouldn't be able to receive any radio stations. I am pretty sure God had a little hand in me bringing these cd's along. One cd in particular, Otto was talking about surrendering to God. I need to listen to this again so I can give more details. But the point was taken, very well, that we are to surrender our hopes, dreams, worries, trials, burdens, everything....to God. Otto gave many examples of how different people, including himself, had surrendered different things to God and in the end they got just what they needed from God. I definitely got the message. I was so amazed after listening to this cd about how God, yet again, revealed himself to me on a vacation.....in the car (again). Otto did mention that it is difficult to surrender our worries, dreams, hopes, etc. to God. You've got that right, Otto! But I am willing. I can't go on any longer carrying the load that I have been carrying....on my own. I surrender all, I surrender all, all to thee my Blessed Savior, I surrender all.....just like the worship chorus says.

I have this cd saved on top in my car for me to listen to often so that I will not forget that I have already surrendered.

One more thing. I am exhausted but wanted to share this post as it was fresh on my mind. I wanted to share something that I purchased on my trip. This will be my reminder that I surrendered to God this week and He HAS given me more of my hope back. I visited a local store in Arroyo Seco, the small town outside of Taos where we stayed. In this store was some awesome jewelry hand made by the owner and her husband. This is the necklace I couldn't resist.

He is faithful, even when I am weak

Copied from an email devotional I got this morning:

VERSE: How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you. -- Psalm 31:19

THOUGHT: Out of this psalm which begins in desperation, we find a crescendo of faith. While things may seem bleak, God will not abandon his children. Those who reverence God will not beforgotten. Far from ignoring his children, God has stored up his goodness which he will generously pour out on them to show that they are his. Those who take refuge in him will be protected and blessed. For those on this side of Jesus' resurrection, this promise of blessing and vindication takes on added depth and meaning as well as deeper assurance!

PRAYER: O LORD, God of Abraham, Moses, Ruth, David, and Esther, I praise you for your proven faithfulness through the centuries. I thank you for the great heritage of faith that shows me that I can trust you to remember me with your grace, protect me by your power, and bless me with your goodness. Please give me courage to hang on to my faith no matter the trials and temptations I face. In Jesus' name I pray and place my trust in you. Amen.

What to do when you're frustrated...

....Let your hairstylist do whatever she wants and cuts all your hair off!....

....and probaby cry when your husband sees it.....

....or cry in the morning when you try to fix it yourself.....

....all because you had a horrible feel bad day....

....tomorrow is Feel Good Wednesday though....hopefully it will be a feel good one.

This is my co-worker, Kathryn....she tried to make me feel better about the shock of chopping off my hair.

Hair Time

** Hair appointment got cancelled and rescheduled for tomorrow. Oh and Ashley, I am seriously kidding about the styles below. hahaha**

On to a better subject....hair. I have a hair appointment today. I LOVE hair appointments. They are one of my most favorite things. I love when I just get to relax and let my hairstylist wash my hair. She gives the best scalp massages ever! For the past several times I have gone I have stuck with the same old thing. I hate fixing my hair but I want something new. So what do you think about the choices below? Think I could pull them off?

This is my hair now. I've had this same style for a long time. But I'm lazy. We'll see if I change.

To never see a kleenex again...

Ya know, the time I anxiously wait for every month hoping and praying it is finally THE month. Wes and I are going on vacation next week and I wanted to have enough time to contact the doctor and get some blood tests done and hopefully a sonogram done IF I were pregnant before we left town. I let my mind win. So I gave in and took a pregnancy test this morning. It was negative. I hate this time of month because all month I try to prepare myself and get a check on my emotions and then like usual my emotions go crazy. I hate it! I hate what I do to myself! I hate even caring sometimes! I tell myself I'll be strong if I'm not pregnant this month, I'm not going to cry, I'll be fine with the results....all the while I keep lieing to myself.

Yes I am venting. Really all I need are prayers today....which I can def. count on from you...so thank you.

For ONE month I would like to make a goal and reach it to where....I would like to be strong enough to not think about it, not care, not talk about it, not dream about it, not care if one of my friends gets pregnant and I don't, not care how much I love babies and would love to have one of my own, to not cry at all when the "witch" shows her face, just to try and live like I don't care if I have a baby or not.

Sometimes I feel like the hope I have been holding onto for SO long...is simply just a thread that I'm clinging to.

What I would give to never see a kleenex again on these days.

Sorry for the downer post today....this is just the barely holding on, being honest Tonya. I know there are people out there that are going through so much worse. I'm being selfish today.

What happened to Feel Good Wednesday?

It's taking a break. I'm actually in Goldthwaite, TX visiting my bestest friend Summer and her family. A family of twin 4 year old boys and a newborn. Fun, fun! So far we've gone to the swimming pool. So I'm taking a break this week from blogging. Hope you don't miss me too much. Hopefully I will be back to the blog world next week.

Hope you all still have a wonderful Feel Good Wednesday!

Should Logan be a barber someday?

Last week Wes, Logan and Papa Bo headed to the barber so Wes could get a haircut. Papa Bo wanted to pay for Logan one too so they both got a trim. Evidently, the barber Henry, had left a few straggly hairs behind. While Logan was visiting his grandparents, he told his Papa that he had some long hairs on top. So Logan goes in the bathroom and gives himself another trim. This is what you get when you trust a 7 year old to go trim his own long hairs. Can you see the "dents" in his hair? There are about 3 spots. Lovely.

He looks pretty proud of himself huh? Smarty pants!

I think Logan better think about another career.