21 Days of Fasting, Part 1

This week is the first week of my 21 days of fasting. I shared some personal stuff about it here. I must say, I thought I would be in prayer for direction on the possible church change all 21 days but God has really been doing some work elsewhere. I mean, I’ve been praying about the direction on the possible church change; but I’ve also been praying for other things in my life that God has placed on my heart.
I have decided to keep a journal (in the form of blog posts) about my fasting. I think it will be awesome to take a look back here in a month, a year, or however long and see what amazing things God has done because of my fasting. When I write, I write what comes to mind as if I were speaking. Sometimes, I don’t think before I talk/write so some things may sound differently than how I really feel or what I really meant to say. In no way am I trying to take credit for anything that happens. I give ALL the credit and glory to God. I also believe that prayers are answered regardless if you fast or not, but fasting certainly shows God you are committed to see change and are serious.
Day 4 of 21 Update:
A friend of mine shared with me a book that she had done as a Bible Study. It’s called Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. I quickly ordered this from Amazon and decided to start on another book while I waited for Becoming the Woman of His Dreams to arrive in the mail. (Side note: I got this book in the mail today and have started it. It is AWESOME and look forward to sharing some things about it later. Perhaps, after the fast. I’m not sure.) The book I have started is The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian. I have to admit that I started this book a long time ago but never finished it. I really want to finish it this time because I feel like I need to learn some things when it comes to prayer. I have learned that praying needs to start with ME. I need to really take a look at myself and cleanse myself of all sins and ask God to show me places that I need to change. This includes forgiveness. I will not go into details, but last year I faced some really hurtful times with a couple of my family members. I wrote a letter to them and asked for forgiveness and had never heard back from them. It has been around 8 months since this happened. Since that time I had prayed for them and for Him to help mend the relationship. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. But we should always be quick to forgive. I had peace that I had forgiven and had moved on….waiting for God to help them to forgive ME. Well, on day 3 of my fast (just before reading the chapter of forgiveness in POAPW) I received a letter from one of the people I had hurt and forgiven. She apologized and has forgiven me as well. Praise God!
So my fasting has taken a different path than I thought it would originally. I know that there are going to be obstacles in the way during these 21 days but I also know that God has already done great things and will continue to do so. I really feel refreshed and closer to God. I pray that I continue to be committed to Him and will keep these prayer and reading habits even after the 21 days are over.

Wake Up Wednesday, Week 2

If you’re wondering what is Wake Up Wednesday, you need to head on over to I Am Momma, Hear Me Roar. She has started this weekly challenge and I’m loving it. We’ve only done it for one week but I can’t wait to continue this every week. I hope it lasts all year and I can participate that long. I’m sure some weeks will be really challenging on the pride and imagination but I look forward to it. I MUST tell you that this is not to be showy or to brag but to just be examples of ways we can be good to those around us. So please do not take this negatively.

Our first challenge was given to us last Wednesday and we had all week to fulfill it. We were to choose one person we knew but not very well and make something for them. I prayed and thought about it and really felt like I chose the right person and made the right gifts. I chose a young woman who I go to church with. I know her but not very well. She seems to be pretty quiet and reserved (shy). Her husband is deployed and she is pregnant with their first child (a girl). I know she loves turquoise and pink so I chose to give her one of the necklaces I made that had those colors.

But to do a little something extra I gave her a bonus gift. I made her a cake that is so yummy it should be a sin to eat it. Seriously. It’s called a Honeybun Cake and I found the recipe here at Tasty Kitchen. I made this for Christmas and it got GREAT reviews so I decided to make it for Jiny. And what pregnant girl doesn’t LOVE cake?! I mean, really?!

Ok, looking at that picture makes me want to whip me a cake up real fast. I could eat the whole thing it is so good. So I better not go to the store tonight.

Our challenge this week is to give at least 5 people, or more, a compliment. I think this sounds really fun. Who doesn’t love a compliment?

I really hope you will consider joining us for Wake Up Wednesday. It can be a humbling experience. I think this is a great way to start out my year. If you do join us, I would love for you to leave me a comment and share your experiences (if you don’t blog about it).

Wake Up Wednesday

I am SO excited about the future Wednesday’s this year. Do you want to know why? Well…..it’s because Cheri over at I Am Momma Hear Me Roar (yeah, I love her and have mentioned her many times before) has started a new Wednesday challenge. It’s called Wake Up Wednesday and you can read about her idea and why she chose to get this started HERE. So today is the very first Wake Up Wednesday and I am so excited! Those that are participating are supposed to make something this week (food, crafts, etc) for someone we know but not that well. I can’t wait to pray about this and see who God has in mind for me and what I should make. We will be linking up next Wednesday and sharing our story. What a great way to start out the year. I hope you will head on over to Cheri’s blog and read all about this great idea….then join us!

Lead Me, My Next Journey of Hope

I wrote this post, as you can see, last month. I feel it is time to post it. If you don't like posts without pictures, then this is not the post for you. I take this topic I'm posting about very seriously.

It’s 1:00 in the morning (12/9/10) and I just can’t sleep. As I was in bed contemplating whether to get up or not, God gave me this blog post. I’m starting it but I’m not sure when I’ll post it. Maybe today, maybe in a few weeks. Please know that I’m about to share personal stuff and if you’re not comfortable, then please read no further. Oh, and this will be lengthy with no pictures.
If you listen to KLOVE on the radio or any other Christian radio station in your area, you have heard Lead Me by Sanctus Real. (If you click on that link you can hear the song, watch the video, hear the story behind the song, and read a prayer.) The words are powerful.

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

So this brings me to my next Journey of Hope. I have been on the fence about sharing this with any of you readers, but like I said I felt God wants me to write this post. For the last 2 years I have been going to church alone. Well, I’ll take Logan and Brady with me but my husband stays home. To protect his privacy I will not go into why he chose to quit going to the church I go to. I realize that you can go to church all you want and not be a follower of Christ. I also realize you can not go to church at all and be the most faithful follower of Christ. I personally believe for myself that I HAVE to go to church. I NEED it, desperately. It helps me to stay on the right track. It feeds my soul. I love my church and church family. They have been so supportive of me. When I need prayer, they’re there. When I lost my first baby, they were there praying for me, comforting me, “feeding” me. I would say, for the first year after my husband quit going, I thought he’d come back. But this last year I have been feeling torn. Do I leave so we can go to church somewhere else as a family? Or…. Do I stay here because I feel comfortable here and enjoy my church? I feel God is giving me an answer. I feel like it’s almost time to move on. But where?!!! And is it really time for me to make a change?

Every January our church has done a 21 day fast. If you’re not familiar with fasting, you can click this link to get a description. I discussed with Wes that I will stay at my current church till the end of January. When the fast is over. I will be fasting for direction on where we should go and to be sure that I should leave my current church for sure. I just need peace about my decision. I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere where God is not in the decision.

My husband has never pressured me to quit going BUT has stated that he is willing to try any other church. So, this is my prayer….That God will LEAD ME and my family to the best church for OUR family. I pray God leads us to the church where Brady will be safe and loved in the nursery, where Logan will make friends easily and enjoy his classes, where Wes will feel comfortable and want to be involved, and where I can eventually join the choir or help with Praise and Worship.

My desire is for our family to be changed. My desire is to be a family that prays together, reads the Word together, and lives the Word together. If me leaving my church is the first step, then I am willing. I’ll go wherever God wants me to go. I need to quit being selfish. At times I felt it was my husband that was the selfish one. But now, I’m not so sure. I want to open my ears and listen to God. I want to be still for once….and listen. And then….

I’ll say Yes, Lord, yes, to Your will and to Your way

Yes, Lord, yes, I will trust You and obey

When Your Spirit speaks to me, with my whole heart I'll agree

And my answer will be yes, Lord, yes!

 

So I ask you, if you are a follower of Christ, please pray with me. Pray for my family and the direction God wants us to go. Pray that He will lead us to the perfect church for our family.
If any of my current church family is reading this, please do not get sad or hurt. My final decision has not been made. I’m waiting on God for that. Just pray that God Leads US.

Today:
I'm STILL feeling torn about this decision. I spoke to my pastor VERY briefly Sunday morning and after we spoke I just felt so confused. I KNOW without a doubt God will give me the direction and answers but I hope that I'm still and quiet enough to hear Him. Please pray with me. I will start our church fast this coming Sunday, January 10th. I pray that during these 21 days God will give me the directions I'm seeking...whether to stay or to go...and if GO....then WHERE?!

New Year's Resolutions? Not for me.

No, I'm not into New Year's Resolutions. But this year I want to really try to have a laid back attitude. Brady is already almost 7 months old and it has FLOWN by. I want to enjoy every minute of every day with him and not worry about if he doesn't take a nap that day, or if he's throwing a fit in the middle of a store, or if he's keeping me up at night. I want to try and not sweat the small things and really enjoy these moments I have with him. I want to make sure I take the time to teach him about Jesus. I want to be an example to him. God trusted me with HIS child. I want to be the mommy that God wants me to be to Brady. I pray God helps me with that and to try and forget the other "stuff".

2010...Changes

Many bloggers are doing a "2010 in review" type posts. I guess I'm doing something similar. I'm feeling a bit emotional at the moment. Maybe not the BEST time to write, but here goes.....

This time last year I was expecting my 2nd child. But unlike the first, this child I would get to hold and love and see grow. The first child is up in Heaven waiting for me and the rest of his/her family. When I look back at the person I was on December 31, 2009, I see a pregnant woman who had no idea what was in store for her. As the song goes...a baby changes everything! A year ago I was working full time and enjoyed the freedom of not having a baby on the hip. I was able to come and go...here or there. I enjoyed the extra cash to go and spend as I pleased. And yes, I tithed also. I had the pleasure of having the extra money to give to those in need or to gift to those that needed a little something special because they were having a hard time. Now, December 31, 2010, I am changed. I won't deny that is has been challenging...these changes. Having Brady in my life is wonderful. There are no GOOD words, really, to explain how being a mommy feels. On June 10, 2010 my life was forever changed. God knew the perfect time to bring that special little guy into my life. I would soon find out that God had an even greater plan for my life than expected.

Several weeks later I was given the option to quit my job and stay home with my son. It's hard for me to explain how big of a deal that just was. I had worked at the same job for 9 years. NINE years! I started at the Oil Company when I was 20 years old, single, going to college, and living in an apartment....oh and let me just add, no grey hairs. NOW, I quit when I'm 29 years old, married, with a son and a stepson, graduated from college and living in a nice little home.....and LOTS of grey hair. But, God had the PERFECT plan for my life. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Adjustments had to be made and still are. God is working on me, still. Thank goodness. Adjusting to not having the money to go get what I want is hard. What's that saying "money is the root of all evils"? Yeah, I hate it. I wish I didn't like having money so much. Just being honest. I think the internet plays a horrible part in my "wishing for this and that".

Ok, so I think I'm starting to lose myself here. Anyways, changes and adjustments are hard at times but God knows the perfect plans and He is changing me little by little. He is so wonderful and I could never thank Him enough for all He has done in my life, especially this year.

There are many around me who have not been as blessed as myself. They are struggling. My heart hurts for them. I want so badly to make everything better. But, it's not my job. If I were to make everything better then I would be interfering with God's plans. He is the one in control and He knows that these struggles and hard times are only allowing that person to grow and become....changed.

So to end this babbling blog post....I am going to say a prayer for all of you who read this. 2011 may be a wonderful, joyful year for you...OR it may bring hard times. But I want you to know that God is in control and He will always be there with you, in the good times and bad.

Happy New Year!

A Blessed Christmas

Well, Christmas is over and it’s time to pack the tree away. I thought I’d share some of our Christmas day with you.
The week started with a baby boy getting a pearly white tooth. You can barely see it but I placed an arrow so you could try. Poor baby. This was the making of a grouchy Christmas day.

Christmas Eve night we loaded up Logan and Brady to go see Christmas lights. Driving around to see Christmas lights has always been one of my favorite activities during the holiday season. Wes even took us to Starbucks so we could get some coffee and hot chocolate for Logan. So much fun! I can’t wait till Brady is old enough to enjoy the lights.
Christmas morning was so much fun watching the boys open their gifts. Since I am a stay at home mom, there were not as many gifts but as Logan said “It’s not about the presents…..but their a nice touch.” Ha! Gotta love him. We decided to get him one expensive gift. He is really into LEGO’s this year. He loved his gift. He wanted to go in his room right away to put it together. Of course, he had to wait till little brother opened his. Logan is at the stage where he loves to put on these goofy smiles for the camera. Lord, help me.

Here is Brady opening his gifts. He needed some help but he did rip into some of the paper.


And here he is with all his toys.

For lunch we headed over to my inlaws. That is when Brady decided to be a grumpy grump. I think it’s because of his tooth and also the lack of sleep he and I got the night before. Here is a picture we took as he was opening gifts right before he FINALLY decided to take a nap.

Haha! I can laugh about it now.
We had a great Christmas, despite the teething baby situation. I really feel so blessed this year to have him in my life. No, we may not be wealthy and can afford all the nice gifts for everyone but we have each other and we’re all healthy. That’s what matters. AND we have Jesus to thank!

I hope you all had a blessed Merry Christmas! It’s time for me to get off here and start taking the tree down.